Hear us now, eventually begin

I've been getting that feeling more and more often. Vinegar running through my veins and arteries. Heartbeats that everyone in the room can hear. The rush of something.

I'm not sure why, but I've felt more alive in these past few weeks than ever before. What's worrying me is what comes next. I was packing a bible delivered flyer-style months ago to my door between pro-atheist books in preparation for my big move up to Edmonton and I realized that everything is about to tip. Summerstock existed. Summerstock ended - but I'm still surrounded by 90% of my friends for the time being. Soon I will leave the house that I was raised in - and the house that my mother escaped to - and live in Edmonton. High School ends. University begins. I had to stop packing away my things and sit for a while to make the room stay in its place. I'm so excited. I'm full of dread. I'm not even able to think fluidly right now. Am I a big enough person to stand up to this paradigm shift? Or will I stagnate and watch as the world flies by. It's safer when you're watching the game, but you're alone among the masses in those stands.